Flower Remedies: for Difficult Relationships with Ourselves and Others

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We see below five aspects related to the sphere of relationships with ourselves and with other people, as well as the best flower remedies to deal with them: the perfectionist, the leader, the idealist, living imprisoned by the rules and the possessive love.

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BEECH: The Perfectionist Who Can’t Stand Others’ Faults

All of us sometimes feel hostile towards other people or social groups. We often justify our impatience by saying that their behaviour is different from ours. In reality, the irritation arises from the fact that we consider others as a threat to our beliefs and our lifestyle. In order not to question our principles, we colour the world in right and wrong, and we tend to close in ourselves. Beech is the remedy for those who find it difficult to tolerate others, whom they often consider ignorant and foolish.

Bach writes: “The Beech type expects everyone to be equal to them and manifest their impatience with outbursts of anger. They hardly feel compassion and cannot understand the choices and paths other people choose to follow. They are unable to conceive that others are also in search of perfection, even though following methods and ways different from theirs “.

How the Remedy Works

Beech helps to accept oneself with kindness and, therefore, to be tolerant and understanding towards other people. They learn to recognize other people’s qualities and to avoid getting irritated by their weaknesses.

VINE: The Strong, Ambitious & Determined Leader

Vine types have an individualistic character and think they don’t need the presence of others. The positive results they manage to achieve are the fruit of their willpower and their skills. Idolised by everyone when they are at the peak of success, they are then abandoned and left alone in case of defeat. If positive qualities prevail, the Vine type is a great leader, gifted with unparalleled willpower, initiative and presence of mind in solving problems. Vine are also very disciplined, ambitious and constantly striving artists to offer the best of themselves. At its worst, the Vine type is authoritarian, demands blind obedience, is driven by an insatiable and cynical will to power. The father-master and the tyrannical boss are classic negative examples of this type.

How the Remedy Works

Vine teaches to be respected for one’s natural gifts and not for being unscrupulous in imposing one’s will. We learn how to use leadership qualities not only for personal affirmation, but also for the needs of the community. On the other hand, those who fear abusing their power will find the strength to impose themselves, without thereby overpowering others.

VERVAIN: The Idealist Who Gets Devoured By The Cause

The Vervain type is an enthusiast. Convinced that they are right, they go to great lengths to convince others to support their ideas and embrace the ideals they stand for. Once they embrace a faith or a cause, they hardly abandon it.

Bach writes: “If they fall ill, they continue to struggle even when others have already given up for a long time”. In some cases, their dedication to the cause leads to fanaticism: missionary zeal leads them to want to convince their friends at all costs, who turn away from them so as not to be constantly subjected to their sermons.

The causes to which the Vervain type is dedicated are not always sublime: the mother who forces her daughter to be dressed like her or the father who is stubborn so that the son practices mountaineering, despite being terrified of it, are classic examples of Vervain behaviour.

How the Remedy Works

Vervain teaches us to consider the point of view of others, not to expect the whole world to think the same way, to be able to listen to others, and to present our beliefs with respect. It helps us to break away from daily chores from time to time to enjoy life, rest body and mind and free ourselves from the obsession of always having to be busy.

ROCK WATER: Those Living Imprisoned By Strict Rules

This is the only Bach’s remedy that does not consist of a flower, but of rock water taken from natural springs known for their healing properties. In Europe, amongst other waters, that from Lourdes was also used.

Bach writes: “Those very controlled person needs Rock Water, the ones who tend to reject the joys and pleasures of life because they believe they could interfere with their work. Rock Water is a stern master of himself. They want to be healthy, strong and active and do everything to keep fit ”. They can be addicted to diets and follow a discipline with a rigour that borders on fanaticism. In extreme cases, they become part of religious or esoteric sects, estranging themselves from the life of ordinary people.

Unlike the Vine type, Rock Water does not try to persuade others with their beliefs and close themselves in their own world. “They hope to push others to follow their principles by example,” notes Bach. Other people’s ideas don’t interest them and they refuse to question them. Striving to perfect themselves, they set goals that are difficult to achieve and, when they fail to achieve them, they judge themselves with merciless severity. This mental rigidity affects their body: they often suffer from joint problems and may have affective problems.

How the Remedy Works

Rock Water helps us to be more open-minded and more flexible; it induces us to take ourselves less seriously, to occasionally go out of the way of everyday life and enjoy the pleasant aspects of it. We come to understand that even if we don’t do everything perfectly, or if we sometimes forget to do what we set out to do, we don’t become a person to be despised. Those who take Rock Water do not give up on their ideals, nor the effort necessary to achieve them, but they manage to smooth out the most angular aspects of their personality and not to be too hard on themselves.

CHICORY: For Possessive & Suffocating Love

The Chicory type takes care of children, relatives, friends, and does everything because they act according to their principles. They advise, organise, correct, criticise… they suffocate with their love for them. But they also get distressed if they don’t get the gratitude they think they deserve or if their help is rejected: they get offended, they complain and recriminate.

They are afraid of not being loved enough and then try to earn love by doing their best for others. They often surround themselves with people who need them and choose professions that allow them to express their need to help others: teachers, nurses, social workers, missionaries.

Chicory is particularly suitable for parents who find it difficult to detach from their children, even if they are already adults: they tend to keep them dependent and linked, to the point of jeopardising the harmonious development of their personality.

How the Remedy Works

Chicory helps us to freely express love, feelings and emotions without setting conditions or demanding the same from others. The remedy produces a profound inner transformation: day by day, we realise that we are not loved for what we do, but for who we are.

Check Out These Other Flower Remedies:

• Scleranthus / Cerato / Wild Oat / Hornbeam / Gentian / Gorse
• Water Violet / Impatiens / Heather
• Holly / Walnut / Centaury / Agrimony
• Mimulus / Aspen / Red Chestnut / Rock Rose / Cherry Plum
• Clematis / Honeysuckle / Wild Rose / Olive / White Chestnut / Mustard / Chestnut Bud
• Crab Apple / Oak / Willow / Star of Bethlehem / Sweet Chestnut / Elm / Pine / Larch

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